holding space for hard relationships

(while learning to let go)

Have you ever had to do something hard but knew it was the right thing?
Life can get messy in these situations and if you’e anything like me and struggle when others are upset with you, it’s even harder.

But what about the situations when you have no control over what others think of you? When no matter what you do or say, it seems like it’s not the right thing. What do you do then?

Several years ago, I found myself in an uncomfortable situation like this and I was trying everything I could to do fix it. I reached out and yet I was still getting a cold shoulder.
At the time I didn’t know what I know now.
I didn’t know that no matter what I did, I couldn’t make it better.
And I didn’t know some things aren’t mine to carry, even if I am a part of the relationship.

As I sat across from my Counselor explaining how I felt helpless and that I was struggling with a broken relationship, she told me something that has been a game changer for me.
She said… Sometimes what others are dealing with has nothing to do with us and even though they might drag us into their problem, it’s their stuff and not ours to fix.

This was huge, because I had spent a lifetime trying to fix relationships. I’d worked hard for other’s approval and I rode a roller coaster of emotions when I couldn’t. So, when I realized this wasn’t mine to carry I finally felt free.
Free to live the life God intended for me.