Last weekend I had the opportunity to teach in Illinois and it was fun to meet so many wonderful people and to visit a place we once called “home”. While there I taught two classes, which were both on the book of Ruth, it was good to dig deep into the details of that story again. It had been awhile since I’ve taught it and I was reminded of how the book is so much more than a beautiful love story. It’s a story about redemption, repentance, God’s grace and his provision. One of the things I discussed was the emptiness Naomi experienced after losing her husband and two sons.
Have you ever been there - when a loss has caused a vacancy within your soul? When sadness left you with anger toward God?
About a decade ago, I walked myself into a counselor’s office. I longed for healing. I wanted to be whole. I’d spent too many years tending to my brokenness and wrapping up my wounds, I wanted a way to live beyond years of painful hurt. And although our brokenness might differ in the details, the pathway of healing is often a similar one. There were times I was disappointed by God. I didn’t understand why I had to experienced so much hurt and why he didn’t protect me from the woundings I went through. I’m sure to a greater degree, Naomi questioned God and was angry about the depth of her loss.
When Naomi returned to Judah with Ruth, she told the townspeople she had left with a full life and returned with an empty one. She was bitter and yet God was working even amidst her anger and bitterness. Thank goodness, God’s grace is never dependent upon our good behavior!
God was working despite Naomi’s declaration and disappointment. He brought her back home because he wanted to bless her and restore her life. He didn’t abandon her in her grief. He didn’t wait for her to pick herself up. He worked while she waited.
Friend, even when your life is full of one loss after another - God is still working.
Before I began my healing journey, I believed I would always be broken. I thought I would always walk with a limp. I didn’t know broken bones could heal and become even stronger than before. I didn’t know I could find health and wholeness, but I did.
Sweet friend, if you have struggled for way too long and are wondering if there’s healing for someone like you - I want this to be a reminder that it is possible. I am a living testimony of someone who has experienced God in this way.
Do I still struggle from the effects of abuse?
Absolutely, but now they are scars and stories of how I survived instead of just open wounds. I can’t erase or pretend that those things never happened but the spaces of my heart that left me always tending to my wounds are now mending and I’m finding a deeper joy and peace where I once only felt pain. I can’t fully articulate this process, but I can tell you that I’m beginning to grow and flourish in places where there was only loss. Naomi is a reminder of God’s faithfulness to restore and to heal us even when we are in the middle of our mess.
How about you?
Have you experienced God’s grace during a season of struggle?
If so, share it here with us so others can be encouraged and strengthened to not give up. We need the power of one another’s stories to remember God has been faithful before and he will be faithful again!
Ruthann, I so enjoyed reading your encouraging words and message this morning. I thought the post was finished after the “thanks for reading and subscribe button” and was pondering my own writing these days as I share my struggle with abuse, and with faith over the years. I almost closed the article, grateful for what I’d read, then saw the next sentence. “Do I still struggle from the effects of abuse?” It was as if the Spirit were asking me. Yes, even after twenty-five years. But you have helped me realize this morning that the stories God wants from me are kept like jewels in the scar tissues of my being. Those are the stories He can use best for His glory. So I continue on, richer for having read your beautiful post and for God’s beauty and grace all around me and in me every day. I’ll get back to my revising now. I was feeling discouraged, who do I think I am writing a novel? I am God’s, and from that everything else will flow. Thank you, sweet friend. Your teaching and writing goes far beyond what you can imagine. Sending blessings back.
Deb